The Saggy Baggy Elephant


Yes, I used to hoard this collection of Kathryn Jackson’s Golden Book elephants.  It started long before I met the elephant in the room, the X I like to blame for all my negative characteristics.  Everyone brings baggage into a relationship, but X was down two hundred pounds when we met, and that was long before anyone had heard of Gastric Bypass Surgery.

But this is not about X.  While I am aware that many “declutterers” get a kick out of weighing their trash on its way out of the house, I could not do that without bringing It to the local meat packing facility, which in fact was once suggested by his doctor.  And X is not on his way out of the house.  I am.

What drives me toward the direction of a minimalist lifestyle is simple.  If there is space, I will fill it.  If the excess skin isn’t removed like they do on television, there is always room to grow, and physical growth is not a great idea once you’re collecting a pension.  Downsizing is good exercise for the condition of a person’s legacy even without hoarding.

My first trip to Lilliput Little Life had to be put off for two days, but there are benefits.  For one thing, I’ll have my new laptop by then.  For another, I can still have my ninth annual celebration of lung decluttering.  (Eight years, eleven months, three weeks, two days, 23 hours, 26 minutes and 24 seconds. 131359 cigarettes not smoked, saving $37,557.73. Life saved: 1 year, 12 weeks, 1 day, 2 hours, 35 minutes as of Tuesday, March 20th)  And maybe most important, my sons can help load the van with the stuff I plan to go through while on the road.  The plan is to not let it back in the house.

But back to Sooki the elephant, whose wrinkles gave him character: One Two Three Kick – when the Stuff is gone, there will be room to dance.

Author: lessmuch

shoving a hoard into a tiny house

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